Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Seize the Day

Earlier this morning I got a phone call from Henner (yes, the guy with the Brat).

"My friend just called me and I'm meeting him. I just didn't want you to think I was having a seizure or anything"

I thanked him, told him to have fun, and hung up. And it hit me.

Seizures are a part of my every day now. Henner had a brain tumor, and 3 years ago February had it removed. All in all he's an incredibly healthy man who's lucky to be alive. However, he has to be on anti-seizure medication, and has some other small indicators of brain damage. Things we can laugh about. Sure when he takes a picture you'll be lucky if you're still in the frame, and he spills stuff a lot, but he's ALIVE. So the seizures, when they happen, we deal with (I do very little besides provide emotional support) and wait for them to pass. They're rare, and relatively mild compared to some. I make sure from time to time that he's eaten and remind him to take a break from "brain-tiring" tasks when he gets in too deep. Anything I can do to help his brain stay comfortable I do. Simple and well worth it.

When I was little, my only experience with seizures was through my godfather (a man I won't be mentioning again any time soon). He had (supposedly) the big, scary truly seizing-seizures. They terrified me when I was small and suddenly he'd sit or lay down and shake for what seemed to me like hours (minutes, if that, of course). I have so many other bad memories with him that even the word "seizure" put a bad image in my mind.

That is, until Henner.
Henner showed up at the perfect time for me. My godfather was no longer a part of my life (my choice), I was transitioning into adulthood, and I needed not only a good adult male role model (besides my dad), but a good friend. He has taught me to be joyful, and to have childlike curiosity and enthusiasm. He's made me happy to be me. He's completely changed my life for the better. And because of him, I'm not afraid any more. The seizures are just a small example of that. I know he'll be there to hold my hand, or I'll be there to hold his; whether he falls or I do, we'll go down together.

I'm not afraid anymore.
Vi Veri Veniversum Vivus Vici

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